JZ and I have not met again since the kitchen success. Unfortunately, an emergency situation with another client prevented me from seeing JZ last week, and JZ cancelled for this week due to some other commitments.
Commitment is probably a good word to start discussing....both JZ and I have to be committed to getting this done. This is not easily accomplished, as we have limited time that we CAN meet each week due to time and money constraints on JZ's part. For me, it would be more energizing and motivating to "just do it" and get it over with!! Not to be, or so it seems. Wth only two hours per week set aside to accomplish this major project, we will surely be working into the first quarter of next year before we see any true progress in JZ's 4 room apartment.
No matter, we WILL get it done......
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A step forward.....
JZ has made some progress, I am glad to report. He cleaned out a cabinet that we wanted to use in his kitchen to store his 'extra' canned goods. This is a big step in the right direction, as this is the first time that JZ has completed a task assigned to him without my being there to help him.
We are both very excited, also, as we were able to finish his kitchen clean-up last week. We actually can see counter space, and he can use his stovetop for the first time in a long time (he has been cooking in the microwave or a small convection oven in lieu of using his range). JZ was all smiles as we looked over the kitchen at the end of our session, and hopefully, this will give him motivation to keep on moving on......
His assignment till next time we meet: do NOT clutter up the kitchen counter....that's it....sounds simple, right??? Not for a hoarder....getting JZ to KEEP things uncluttered is an uphill battle in itself. Changing hoarding behaviors is much more than just cleaning up the hoard....it is the maintenance portion that is the hardest part.....kind of like that diet that each of us sticks to so well until we have lost the weight we want, and then we go back to our old habits....
Here is a picture of JZ's kitchen---cleaned up!!
We are both very excited, also, as we were able to finish his kitchen clean-up last week. We actually can see counter space, and he can use his stovetop for the first time in a long time (he has been cooking in the microwave or a small convection oven in lieu of using his range). JZ was all smiles as we looked over the kitchen at the end of our session, and hopefully, this will give him motivation to keep on moving on......
His assignment till next time we meet: do NOT clutter up the kitchen counter....that's it....sounds simple, right??? Not for a hoarder....getting JZ to KEEP things uncluttered is an uphill battle in itself. Changing hoarding behaviors is much more than just cleaning up the hoard....it is the maintenance portion that is the hardest part.....kind of like that diet that each of us sticks to so well until we have lost the weight we want, and then we go back to our old habits....
Here is a picture of JZ's kitchen---cleaned up!!
Monday, August 22, 2011
And the beat goes on.....
My life has been challenged in working with JZ. As you can imagine, those of us who work with hoarders are usually very well-organized, neat and fastidious people (my husband would say anal.....).
To work in a hoarding situation is to challenge my most basic instinctive desire and need for neatness and cleanliness. THIS is the challenge, really: understanding and working with someone whose personality and ways are so very different from my own. One cannot make a neatnik out of someone who simply is not that way, nor can one do the reverse too easily, either!!
The important point here, though, is this: EITHER extreme is not healthy! Amazingly, even I recognize that my extreme need for neatness can drive others to exasperation, as others' messiness and lack of attention to keeping things in order can drive me to distraction. This fact is of primary importance, I am learning, in working with a hoarder: do not expect them to suddenly become totally different than they are. One must work within the hoarder's capacity for changing their ways toward a more healthy and safe environment without thinking that the hoarder will suddenly become the neatest person in the world.
And the beat goes on.....who is learning more here: me or JZ??? Hmmmm.....
To work in a hoarding situation is to challenge my most basic instinctive desire and need for neatness and cleanliness. THIS is the challenge, really: understanding and working with someone whose personality and ways are so very different from my own. One cannot make a neatnik out of someone who simply is not that way, nor can one do the reverse too easily, either!!
The important point here, though, is this: EITHER extreme is not healthy! Amazingly, even I recognize that my extreme need for neatness can drive others to exasperation, as others' messiness and lack of attention to keeping things in order can drive me to distraction. This fact is of primary importance, I am learning, in working with a hoarder: do not expect them to suddenly become totally different than they are. One must work within the hoarder's capacity for changing their ways toward a more healthy and safe environment without thinking that the hoarder will suddenly become the neatest person in the world.
And the beat goes on.....who is learning more here: me or JZ??? Hmmmm.....
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Resistance, Resistance
JZ's resistance continues to delay progress in working through his hoard. We have been scheduled each week for at least a two-hour session, and JZ has cancelled the last two appointments. Resistance is a normal part of hoarding behavior, and one of the most difficult things is to work through the resistance and help the client to actually make progress on resolving issues.
JZ is very focused right now on re-establishing his social network and becoming more social. He has been isolated for a long time, and misses the interaction with others. He has made great progress in seeking out social activities, which is a step in the right direction for him as far as working through his depression and other issues. However, his focus on socializing has interfered in his ability to commit to working on his hoarding.
In order to help JZ to allow appropriate time to address his hoarding behaviors, I have begun to give him assignments between meetings and then check in with him throughout the week to see if he has made made any progress, and if so, how much. This week, during our meeting, I will encourage his addressing the clean-up process by discussing how he can help his social life immensely by cleaning up his hoard.
Currently, JZ does not invite people to his home, as he is embarrassed by the mess he lives with, and because, truthfully, there is no place to sit! Perhaps my discussing with him how the clean-up will help his social life, he will be encouraged and motivated to truly engage in the process.
More later......
JZ is very focused right now on re-establishing his social network and becoming more social. He has been isolated for a long time, and misses the interaction with others. He has made great progress in seeking out social activities, which is a step in the right direction for him as far as working through his depression and other issues. However, his focus on socializing has interfered in his ability to commit to working on his hoarding.
In order to help JZ to allow appropriate time to address his hoarding behaviors, I have begun to give him assignments between meetings and then check in with him throughout the week to see if he has made made any progress, and if so, how much. This week, during our meeting, I will encourage his addressing the clean-up process by discussing how he can help his social life immensely by cleaning up his hoard.
Currently, JZ does not invite people to his home, as he is embarrassed by the mess he lives with, and because, truthfully, there is no place to sit! Perhaps my discussing with him how the clean-up will help his social life, he will be encouraged and motivated to truly engage in the process.
More later......
Monday, August 1, 2011
Procrastination......
Hello, everyone:
As noted in my first post, hoarders often have issues with procrastination in getting things accomplished. The last time JZ and I met, we were very productive in cleaning out his kitchen cabinets. The excitement evidently faded quickly, because JZ called me the day before our next weekly appointment and cancelled due to issues with his telephone and computer.
When we meet this week, we will discuss in depth his procrastination and how it negatively affects the momentum needed to get this job done. For me, it is a bit frustrating, as I am one of those individuals who likes to 'just do it' and get things done quickly and completely in a short amount of time.
Obviously, this is a learning experience for both JZ and myself!
As noted in my first post, hoarders often have issues with procrastination in getting things accomplished. The last time JZ and I met, we were very productive in cleaning out his kitchen cabinets. The excitement evidently faded quickly, because JZ called me the day before our next weekly appointment and cancelled due to issues with his telephone and computer.
When we meet this week, we will discuss in depth his procrastination and how it negatively affects the momentum needed to get this job done. For me, it is a bit frustrating, as I am one of those individuals who likes to 'just do it' and get things done quickly and completely in a short amount of time.
Obviously, this is a learning experience for both JZ and myself!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Pictures and some progress
JZ and I have met approximately 4 times for two-hour sessions to actually work on sorting, organizing, discarding and decision-making regarding his hoard. We agreed during our first meeting that we would utilize his second bedroom as our staging area to sort things into categories: discard, donate, or sell. We have worked a total of 6 hours so far on clearing out the second bedroom. This is the room that had no space to walk into at the beginning.
So far, JZ and I have discarded unusable or outdated items and have filled the big dumpster at his condo complex 2 times!! We have also donated clothes and other items to a local charity. We continue to work on the second bedroom.
JZ and I were unable to meet for a few weeks due to some health issues that took precedence for both of us. We met again yesterday, and when I arrived JZ told me that he had started some things on his own. He decided that he liked my suggestion last time we met to clean out the kitchen and get that room in usable order. He spent the morning before I arrived moving items INTO the staging bedroom to clear space in the kitchen so we could work there. Because JZ does not have the best organizational skills, we worked together first to try to at least organize the items that he placed in the staging bedroom. Most of the items are small appliances, pots & pans and the like.
We decided together that we would work on cleaning out the kitchen cabinets to discard outdated items and organize things into categories that will make it easier for him to determine just what he has or doesn't have on hand. We spent our full two-hour session doing this task and we still have the bottom cabinets left to work on next time.
JZ and I agreed that we were very happy with our progress in his kitchen. We also agreed that he may have to invest in a cabinet to store extra canned goods, as he has always bought in bulk and he has a small kitchen with minimal storage space.
JZ expressed disappointment and amazement at how many canned goods and other items we had to discard because they were outdated. He said quite a few times "this is such a waste of money that I don't have." I have inserted a photo of the dining/kitchen area below. As you can see through the window, the kitchen is stacked with items, leaving no counter space to work on.
Today, I am posting a photo of the second bedroom when I first saw it. This is the bedroom that we have worked with in order to set up a staging area for sorting items into categories.
So far, JZ and I have discarded unusable or outdated items and have filled the big dumpster at his condo complex 2 times!! We have also donated clothes and other items to a local charity. We continue to work on the second bedroom.
JZ and I were unable to meet for a few weeks due to some health issues that took precedence for both of us. We met again yesterday, and when I arrived JZ told me that he had started some things on his own. He decided that he liked my suggestion last time we met to clean out the kitchen and get that room in usable order. He spent the morning before I arrived moving items INTO the staging bedroom to clear space in the kitchen so we could work there. Because JZ does not have the best organizational skills, we worked together first to try to at least organize the items that he placed in the staging bedroom. Most of the items are small appliances, pots & pans and the like.
We decided together that we would work on cleaning out the kitchen cabinets to discard outdated items and organize things into categories that will make it easier for him to determine just what he has or doesn't have on hand. We spent our full two-hour session doing this task and we still have the bottom cabinets left to work on next time.
JZ and I agreed that we were very happy with our progress in his kitchen. We also agreed that he may have to invest in a cabinet to store extra canned goods, as he has always bought in bulk and he has a small kitchen with minimal storage space.
JZ expressed disappointment and amazement at how many canned goods and other items we had to discard because they were outdated. He said quite a few times "this is such a waste of money that I don't have." I have inserted a photo of the dining/kitchen area below. As you can see through the window, the kitchen is stacked with items, leaving no counter space to work on.
Next week, I will take new photos after we finish up the kitchen area and post that for you to see the progress we have made so far......
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Clutter, clutter, clutter
Since moving to Florida, JZ has exacerbated his hoarding behaviors. His small condo has two bedrooms, one bathroom, a living/dining combination and a kitchen. He also has an outdoor screened patio.
His entire living area, including the outdoor patio, is filled with boxes, books, tapes, DVDs, food cans and a multitude of other things.
JZ and I met at his home on June 8, 2011. Pictures were taken of every room in his condo, and we sat down to make a plan about how we would attack this major project. JZ is very willing to "get it done" as he says. We discussed beginning with the extra bedroom, which is filled floor to ceiling with items. We will clean out this room and set it up as a sorting area for donations, items to keep, and sale items. JZ readily agrees to the plan.
JZ and I set a schedule to meet every Wednesday for two hours of work on the clean-up. He is unable to commit to more than this amount of time and the cost associated with it. We agree that JZ will have "assignments" to get through during the period between our joint clean-up meetings.
His entire living area, including the outdoor patio, is filled with boxes, books, tapes, DVDs, food cans and a multitude of other things.
JZ and I met at his home on June 8, 2011. Pictures were taken of every room in his condo, and we sat down to make a plan about how we would attack this major project. JZ is very willing to "get it done" as he says. We discussed beginning with the extra bedroom, which is filled floor to ceiling with items. We will clean out this room and set it up as a sorting area for donations, items to keep, and sale items. JZ readily agrees to the plan.
JZ and I set a schedule to meet every Wednesday for two hours of work on the clean-up. He is unable to commit to more than this amount of time and the cost associated with it. We agree that JZ will have "assignments" to get through during the period between our joint clean-up meetings.
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