A step forward.....

JZ has made some progress, I am glad to report.  He cleaned out a cabinet that we wanted to use in his kitchen to store his 'extra' canned goods.  This is a big step in the right direction, as this is the first time that JZ has completed a task assigned to him without my being there to help him. 

We are both very excited, also, as we were able to finish his kitchen clean-up last week.  We actually can see counter space, and he can use his stovetop for the first time in a long time (he has been cooking in the microwave or a small convection oven in lieu of using his range).  JZ was all smiles as we looked over the kitchen at the end of our session, and hopefully, this will give him motivation to keep on moving on......

His assignment till next time we meet:  do NOT clutter up the kitchen counter....that's it....sounds simple, right???  Not for a hoarder....getting JZ to KEEP things uncluttered is an uphill battle in itself.  Changing hoarding behaviors is much more than just cleaning up the hoard....it is the maintenance portion that is the hardest part.....kind of like that diet that each of us sticks to so well until we have lost the weight we want, and then we go back to our old habits....

Here is a picture of JZ's kitchen---cleaned up!! 

And the beat goes on.....

My life has been challenged in working with JZ.  As you can imagine, those of us who work with hoarders are usually very well-organized, neat and fastidious people (my husband would say anal.....).

To work in a hoarding situation is to challenge my most basic instinctive desire and need for neatness and cleanliness.  THIS is the challenge, really:  understanding and working with someone whose personality and ways are so very different from my own.  One cannot make a neatnik out of someone who simply is not that way, nor can one do the reverse too easily, either!!

The important point here, though, is this:  EITHER extreme is not healthy!  Amazingly, even I recognize that my extreme need for neatness can drive others to exasperation, as others' messiness and lack of attention to keeping things in order can drive me to distraction.  This fact is of primary importance, I am learning, in working with a hoarder:  do not expect them to suddenly become totally different than they are.  One must work within the hoarder's capacity for changing their ways toward a more healthy and safe environment without thinking that the hoarder will suddenly become the neatest person in the world.

And the beat goes on.....who is learning more here:  me or JZ???   Hmmmm.....

Resistance, Resistance

JZ's resistance continues to delay progress in working through his hoard.  We have been scheduled each week for at least a two-hour session, and JZ has cancelled the last two appointments.  Resistance is a normal part of hoarding behavior, and one of the most difficult things is to work through the resistance and help the client to actually make progress on resolving issues.

JZ is very focused right now on re-establishing his social network and becoming more social.  He has been isolated for a long time, and misses the interaction with others.  He has made great progress in seeking out social activities, which is a step in the right direction for him as far as working through his depression and other issues.  However, his focus on socializing has interfered in his ability to commit to working on his hoarding.

In order to help JZ to allow appropriate time to address his hoarding behaviors, I have begun to give him assignments between meetings and then check in with him throughout the week to see if he has made made any progress, and if so, how much.  This week, during our meeting, I will encourage his addressing the clean-up process by discussing how he can help his social life immensely by cleaning up his hoard.

Currently, JZ does not invite people to his home, as he is embarrassed by the mess he lives with, and because, truthfully, there is no place to sit!  Perhaps my discussing with him how the clean-up will help his social life, he will be encouraged and motivated to truly engage in the process.

More later......

Procrastination......

Hello, everyone:

As noted in my first post, hoarders often have issues with procrastination in getting things accomplished.  The last time JZ and I met, we were very productive in cleaning out his kitchen cabinets.  The excitement evidently faded quickly, because JZ called me the day before our next weekly appointment and cancelled due to issues with his telephone and computer.

When we meet this week, we will discuss in depth his procrastination and how it negatively affects the momentum needed to get this job done.  For me, it is a bit frustrating, as I am one of those individuals who likes to 'just do it' and get things done quickly and completely in a short amount of time. 

Obviously, this is a learning experience for both JZ and myself!